Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
