We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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