And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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