Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
