she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
do nipples grow back?
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