She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
