How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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