I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
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There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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