when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Randomize
