After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
