After last night, I could never be a politician.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
