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Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
