you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
