i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
worst night to have a conscience
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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