Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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