Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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