my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize