we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
