There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's rum buckets o'clock
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
