make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
