I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
