Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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