i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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