I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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