their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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