just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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