I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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