Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
