I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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