I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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