Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
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It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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