I would go down on you faster than GM stock
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
