i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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