Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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