What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
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So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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