you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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