**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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