u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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