I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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