I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
