from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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