im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
