I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
