I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
