Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
porn star boner night. come get it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
