yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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