FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
