I just made out with a guy for $7.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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