Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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