It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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