I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I enjoy the company of your penis
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
