I think my vagina is haunted
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
