I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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