why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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