is your mom at the bar?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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