she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
